Thieves of Knitted Goods Have a Special Place in Hell

Pardon the swearing. But not really.

My sister’s Krismas present was marked delivered on the FedEx tracking site about 10 days ago. However, today I was on the phone with my sis, talking about the birthday presents (which arrived today) and I said “and in the other box, there should be…” and she said “what other box?”

As it turns out, the other box, the one with the cute, pink, completely original handknitted hat and armwarmers for Lizzie and the neat, unique crocheted alien slippers for Austin was “delivered” and then disappeared. FedEx claims to not have any deliveries to her house in the last 2 weeks (this is BS: she also ordered something for one of the kids that went FedEx).

And I, of course, in my stupidity, threw away the tracking numbers, because I was cleaning up and overwhelmed by paper and I thought “I’ve verified that these arrived through the website.” Oh, yes, I own that stupid moment, thanks.

I am seriously pissed off and hope that whoever stole these beautiful presents finds no joy in them and is plagued by guilt and shame. But I know better. People who steal Christmas presents from children don’t have the shame gene and they aren’t reading this blog anyway.

However, if you know someone who steals Christmas presents, even if they weren’t my Christmas presents, would you please punch them in the neck for me? Even if they’re, like, family or someone you normally turn a blind eye towards– turn that eye on them and say “Mortaine’s beloved niece and nephew aren’t getting Krismas presents from her this year because of asshats like you.” And then punch them in the neck.

Lizzie’s stolen hat and arm warmers:


Austin’s stolen slippers:


4 thoughts on “Thieves of Knitted Goods Have a Special Place in Hell

  1. Sucks…but we’ll be okay. I’ll share pictures with the kids and they will be fine. They understand. They’ll like getting the prezzies late….a second Christmas….(looking for the silver lining here okay?)

  2. I don’t suppose you might have the numbers stored in the autocompletes, either in the text entries or as URLs?

    Grr, present-stealing jackasses.

  3. Same thing, different carrier! The post office delivered the socks I sent to someone else, who never said a word….Lot of work for that to happen. Perhaps in you case you might want to wish them longevity and hope that the hat feels like hot coals upon their head as long as they live…just sayin….

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