I Shot My Best Friend in the Back, and All I Got Was This Lousy Apocalypse

Monday night, my online game (Moving Forward) managed to get together, and we had a veritable blast. The encounter of the evening was a highly-lethal romp with four mind-flayers. At the end, it was me, Ordune (druid), and a confused Firiel (rogue). Firiel could kill either of us in a single hit, even if I’d spent a recovery. I had a choice– her or us.

I asked if Firiel’s armor class was affected by any of her statuses. No. OK. I had a decent chance of at least stopping her if I shot, but… shooting a party member, especially my character’s best friend, isn’t a great idea.

I insisted on narrating that Firiel’s back was to Gwenn when I took the shot.

A typical night for me on Monday involves a lot of really low dice rolls. Lots of 5s and 6s on the dice. I’ve gone entire evenings without rolling above a 6 on a d20. It’s enough that, for me, my turn usually consists of trying to decide if I should just let someone else attack, or if my miss damage is enough to be effective.

On Monday, though, I’d hit several times, only missing once, when I rolled a 1. Surely, my luck would not hold out.

I roll the dice.

19 on the dice. I have a weapon with an expanded critical hit range. A 19 is a critical hit. My damage dice rolls out to 58– double that for the crit is 116.

“Welp. I’m dead.”

“What? Seriously?”


“Steve! C’mon!”

“No, she’s dead.”

I think for a moment about the campaign. Firiel is holding the Big Scary Artifact that can’t be used without summoning the end of the world. It also must be used completely once someone is considered its “bearer.” Firiel is that person.

“Firiel can’t die until she draws the tiles.”

“Oh… shit.” Steve thinks frantically. This is not how the campaign is supposed to end, but whatever. He shuffles the tiles and has her draw. If she draws one of the tiles that results in us leveling up, then she will survive. If not, then she dies and we stay on the plot bus.

She draws the one that draws all the other tiles. Level up included. But also: the end of the world.


We end for the night as we level up while the BBEG arrives on our undead-mindflayer infested island.

At least we won’t wipe out humanity. At least, not right away.