What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas… Except This Dress

I suppose that means I should maintain radio silence for the next month, as John and I arrived in Las Vegas on Friday. My friend Inga arrived Saturday from the Bay Area and we have had a lovely time hanging out, losing money, winning money (well, she did, anyway), and shopping, shopping, shopping.

I was all done with Christmas shopping when we went to the outlet mall yesterday. Now, you all know I’m not much of a shopper anymore. No space, no money, and I just don’t find most things all that appealing. Etc. etc. etc. Well, I did need a new pair of jeans, and my bras were looking kind of ratty, so it was okay to head out for a day at the shops.

And it was a full day, too. I left at 10 and returned at 4. Everything I bought was on sale, usually discounted quite a bit, even off the outlet prices. I bought 2 pairs of pants, including a pair of jeans for under $6. I picked up a couple of bras. I bought a black evening purse to replace the one that’s been breaking for the last 2 years (zipper issues).

And… I bought a dress.

I won’t discuss the dress much, except to say that it’s a “wow” dress. Finding it was like the day I bought my wedding dress. I didn’t want to try it on, but Inga convinced me. I tried it on. I tried on the 3 other dresses I had brought into the dressing room with me. The other 3 were also black dresses. One would even have been wearable at a funeral, and was only $20. The dress Inga convinced me to put on was very impractical. It wouldn’t fit my lifestyle. I’d be able to wear it once a year, maybe.

I tried on the impractical one first. There was no doubt about it. This was THE dress.

Except.

I don’t have shoes for this dress. Nothing in my meager shoe supply would be right. For the record, I currently own 4 pairs of shoes and 1 pair of slippers, and each shoe has its place. 1 pair of sneakers, 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of hiking shoes, and 1 pair of sturdy-but-stylish taupe low heels (for “business casual” and attendance at formal affairs, like weddings). Do you see in that list anything resembling “1 pair of black evening heels”? No? Me neither.

And I didn’t have a bra for this dress. Without revealing too much (at least, not much more than the dress reveals), the dress does not have sleeves under which I can tuck a bra strap. And I don’t know if you’ve tried buying a backless strapless bra when you have a DD cup, but it’s pretty challenging.

Did I mention pantyhose? Another purchase would be needed, to support the dress. When we moved into the RV, I rather thought my pantyhose days were over. But…. I would have to make this sacrifice for the dress.

The black evening purse was a gift from Inga, and it, too, perfectly goes with The Dress. But then, you could expect that from a black evening purse, and it’s why the black evening bag is such a classic.

Thankfully, I already had a nice black satin stole that will go with The Dress.

As I was standing there in Lane Bryant trying to make a decision about The Dress, I looked at the tag. Normally, this would be sufficient motivation to put the dress back on the rack and say “it’s okay. I’ll wear my pretty floral homemade skirt and blouse to New Years Eve in Vegas.” But the tag had no price on it. Aha! Probably too expensive! You know if you have to ask, you can’t afford it. I took it over to the counter, relived that I would finally have an excuse to put the dress back.

“Can you tell me how much this amazing, beautiful, incredibly impractical dress that looks absolutely gorgeous on me costs?”

Scan. Beep. “It’s 40% off of $(incredibly low starting price), so… it’s… $(unbelievably low price).”

“Oh, shit.” I knew right then I was probably going home with The Dress. “If I can’t find underwear and shoes, can I still return it?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

So that’s how I came home last night with a new dress, new heels, new bra, new purse, new pantyhose, new body glitter, and proceeded to try and find space for them in the Casa Rolande.

I’d feel bad about this little bit of extravagance (which actually cost less than I spend on yarn in a 2-month period), but John’s side of the closet has, for the last year and a half, held a very nice garment bag. Inside of which is a gorgeous, tailored black tuxedo.