Effie Cotter, reporting
The Emperor had boldly included visual aids in the form of a pantomime performer, who was skilled at his craft, though not so skilled at remaining silent. Nonetheless, he provided more entertainment, unfortunately, than the emperor himself.
I often find myself at events in which I ask how much more lively the engagement might be if, perhaps, one entity were to engage in some form of rivalry, friendly or otherwise, with other entities. The Red Fork Emperor’s prime nemesis appears to be himself and “the Dull,” which is, of course, boredom. Well, Dear Reader, as you already know, your humble correspondent is never bored, and considers bored people to be boring people. To be so perpetually bored that one might wage war on dullness seems to me to show a weakness of imagination.
Consider, instead, if one were to engage more vigorously with one’s co-presenters at an event such as this weekend! Here we had two factions– Red Fork and L.O.S.E.R.– perfectly poised to deliver scathing commentary on one another. To be driving forces of conflict, story, and derring-do! Had these two engaged more fully, we could have had attendees aligning with one group or another, brandishing impeccable fashion sense like razor-sharp wit! Tea duelling would become not merely a past-time for the Aristocrat Lounge, but an engagement fraught with honor, not only for oneself, but for one’s empire or league!
As I am a reporter of all social news, then, I feel it is my duty to report that the Emperor spoke no words of condemnation for L.O.S.E.R., nor did they ever speak ill of his eminence.
How very… dull!