I’m playing a goblin monk who is a traps expert, and moved to a different table this week.
I quickly discovered that, at my table, there were: an evil kobold mage, an evil human cleric, and an evil minotaur sha’ir. Note: no defender.
While I believe alignment is unnecessary in a good RPG, I also like to play HEROIC characters. I’d played with the kobold last week (my character didn’t like him then, either….), and for some reason, I just can’t get away from him…
The evil cleric would only heal you if you offered her part of your soul. My comment was “so, basically, you’re a healer who won’t heal us? Okay….” Keep in mind, the cleric’s player is an excellent RP’er (one of the best I’ve had the joy to play with), so I’m willing to roll with it. It was kind of amusing, though, as this set us up for me not wanting to get hurt.
We get to the moat house, which we’re supposed to investigate and, maybe, recover some stuff from the bad guys. The DM had snake minis, so the frogs written for the encounter were actually snakes in the moat water instead of frogs. No problem.
Being very stealthy and a traps master, I sneak over to the side with the caved in wall. Sneaked all the way up to the hole in the wall, listening to what’s going on inside. That’s when I spot the trap, 1 square away from me. I hold hands up “wait, guys, stop!” They all stop. I disarm the trap, then snuggle down in the rubble to hide.
The setup from this side is not great for a monk. All those archers with bolt-holes meant it would be very hard for me to hit without being pincushioned. I wait, hold my actions. I toss a bucket into the room, bluffing the archers. Two of them fire their readied-action shots at the bucket. I breathe a sigh of relief, but I really want the wizards to soften these guys up before I go toe-to-toe with what will surely be something more powerful than a few minion archers.
A dwarf fighter inside the moathouse moves up. I can hear him on the other side of the wall. The wizards break cover, exposing themselves so they can get line of sight. I stay hidden– let them take the hits, I say! Why not? These people are scary and mean!
I wait for my moment. Moment comes– the dwarf moves up and attacks the wizard, pushing him back and bloodying him. The cleric steals part of the wizard’s soul, healing him.
I spring out of hiding and give the dwarf the old one-two… nope. Aside from a wrist bite, I don’t land even one hit. The dwarf hits me, bloodying me in one hit, and pushes me away.
By now, the cleric is down and bleeding to death, having tangled one-on-one with the snake. Well, good– she was creepy anyway. The two wizards are not *yet* dying, but that minotaur’s going to fall soon.
I stand up and yell “better part of valor!” as I run the heck away. I spend my action point to keep running. By then, it was really clear we weren’t going to survive that fight. The other players laughed and said “And this is why being evil doesn’t pay.” Had they been heroic sorts, I might have had the morale to stick around. But let’s face it– there’s a reason my goblin isn’t with her tribe anymore!
A couple of rounds later, I circle back to observe, and watch as all three of my “companions” are knocked unconscious, then captured…. then converted to the bad guys’ side.
After the near-TPK (plus one run-away), we decided those three PCs are now NPCs working for Team Bad Guy. Everyone except me is drawing up new characters for next week. We’re considering an all-smalls party of unlikely goblinoid heroes.
If nothing else, I’m hoping someone brings a defender.
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