Obama: Gays are Born That Way

President Obama recently said that he believes that gays are born gay.

I don’t. I believe saying that denies gays the agency of choice. Like saying “oh, they can’t help it” about someone with a disability that somehow “bothers” the non-disabled. It’s a phrase we use to make ourselves feel “right,” and to take away the possibility that someone would choose to feel an emotion that isn’t what we would choose to feel. It’s right up there with the Victorian notions that women were inherently too sexually oriented to be their own people, as if somehow our sexual identity has hindered our abilities to make reasonable choices.

What’s more, “gay” isn’t a disease, and you’re not helpless. Helpless implies you need help. Being gay doesn’t mean you need help or are somehow imperfect. Gay is a part of who you are, whether it’s a part you were born with, like “tall,” or a part you chose, like “plays the guitar.”

I’ve heard the argument “why would anyone choose to be gay, choose the social stigma.” You know, I’m not entirely sure, and it’s not for me to decide someone else’s reasons in life. But I do know the incidences of domestic violence and abuse among gay families is a lot lower than the same statistics for straight families. So yeah– I can think of at least ONE reason.

(And yeah, I should probably use “queer” here, since “gay” is somewhat restricted/specific in the wide range of non-heterosexualities.)

2 thoughts on “Obama: Gays are Born That Way

  1. I believe that queers have more fun. They live their lives more intensively, since they have more “action” in their lives than straights. They fall in love more often and have more hapiness, but also more sorrows, since it’s an up and down game.But in general, I think Gay is a Personal choice people make early or late. They discover more excitement in their lives, as they realize they like being Gay, and “different” and have a fuller, more exciting life, than many other straight relationships, that are often bored out, and dissolve after years of agonizing togetherness.

  2. I’m always a little conflicted on the subject, m’self. The “they’re born that way” argument smacks of the language of disease to me, too, and that irks me. Even if it IS a choice, it shouldn’t matter who we want to spend our lives with or take into our beds.

    But: a lot the rhetoric of homophobia revolves around gay people “choosing” to be gay, and that it’s a bad choice, or one people can be trained out of — which is messed up. I can see why the “it’s innate” argument gets used a lot — it’s an argument specifically against that idea.

    Plus, for me? It’s not a choice. I always say I’m philosophically pansexual — I won’t rule someone out as a dating partner because of their gender. But 99% of the time, I fall for straight dudes. I wish I were more interested in women, for a lot of reasons, but I’m just not. So, saying sexual orientation is a choice rings incredibly false to me.

    The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Comments are closed.