Mortaine’s Blog

I’m still so angry, I could break things.

After my last post, I was so wound up, I went for a walk to the coffeeshop and then the video store. Rented Dead Like Me. Came back. Watched 4 episodes. Went upstairs. Made the mistake of looking at the computer, reading LJ and Ufie.

Got so mad AGAIN that I decided to take the DVD back and get the next and last disk in the series. Came home, watched episodes. Did dishes, put things away (John called– they’re due home any minute now). Made the mistake of reading UFie again. Now am again so angry I could break things. Kneecaps would be a starter.

It’s all the same anger, directed at generally the same people as in my last post. I want to scream and kick and hit and seriously cause a great deal of bloodshed, I am so angry. I just– I’m not rational about rape. I know this. But I want anyone who thinks rape is just an unfortunate thing that happens to imagine themselves having had something really precious cut out of them, violently. Like, say, a fucking lung, okay? My friend once told me that she describes it as having a limb amputated– you’ll never be the same, but you’ll adapt. Well…. maybe. But I think it’s more like having an internal organ ripped out of you. Sure, you can live without a lung, but the recovery is so long and so painful, you just want to cry. And why the hell didn’t someone get the licence plate of the bastard who did it, anyway?

I get about the same level of hate in me when I read about “wilding” in New York City, by the way. And war atrocities in foreign countries– pretty much every war has, as part of the hidden or not-hidden strategy some method of raping and abusing women in order to, I don’t know, harm the men? WHY THE FUCK DO MEN THINK THIS HURTS OTHER MEN?!?!? THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR AGAINST WOMEN!!!!

I, for one, think we women need to rise up and cut the genitals off of any man who rapes a woman. And then choke him to death with them. Sideways.