Still too hard.
01-Aug-05
I wish I could turn off my emotions, like an android or something, because some emotions are too hard to bear. It’s not that I’m unwilling to grieve, but that the knowledge of his coming end is so deeply painful, when it overwhelms me, I haven’t got the space to do anything else, and yet I still have to do… everything else.
Allegro is breathing heavy this morning and he didn’t really eat his breakfast. If we hadn’t decided to stop the intrusive treatments (the needle in the chest taps), he would be long overdue for a tap. And so, I suppose that means today is the best day to do it, when he has truly been able to enjoy everything up to now, but hasn’t had days and weeks of pain and discomfort to send him off.
I love him so much, and I will miss him terribly. There just isn’t another cat in the world exactly like our Allegro-foof.
No comments today. I’m not ready for them.