Thanksgiving
25-Nov-04
I’ll be heading out in a couple of hours for Thanksgiving, but I wanted to share with my non-American readers (and some American ones who might not think about it this way) what Thanksgiving means to me.
Thanksgiving is the quintessential American secular holiday. Aside from the Fourth of July, it is the most universal American tradition we have. It’s also a completely non-religious, non-ethnic day of celebration. I say this, of course, with a nod to the Native Americans, for whom Thanksgiving is probably a completely different holiday and may in fact be as joyous to them as, say, Columbus Day would be. In other words– I say this with acknowledgement that it’s my own cultural bias that believes in Thanksgiving as a secular, non-ethnic holiday.
The only other holiday the US has that is even close is the Fourth of July. Do you know what happens on the Fourth, though? In addition to the loud firecrackers, there’s the stress of crowds and parades, picnics in public spaces, and the stress of being “patriotic” which, lately, has meant “shut up and don’t bitch about it– you lost, cope.”
Thanksgiving isn’t like that. It’s waaay more introverted. Yes, even the Thanksgiving where you’re crammed into a car with your family for 4 hours to drive and see 18 relatives you only see once a year. For Thanksgiving, you don’t press into a crowd of people (that’s the day before– at the grocery store, and the day after– at the malls), and you don’t go to a parade (unless you’re in New York, I guess), and you don’t have to see people who you don’t actually know, at least a little bit.
What I like about Thanksgiving is that it’s a holiday with a deep, rich tradition, which can be celebrated without ever bringing God into the story. Yes, you can have a Thanksgiving without prayer. Most families pray or say a blessing or something at T-Day, but it’s not required.
Also, even though many of the food items at Thanksgiving are traditional, like the turkey or the stuffing, or the mashed potatoes, it’s the wide varieties of preparations that can really make the holiday special. Also, every family has a different Thanksgiving dish that they just must have. In my uncle’s family, it’s the sweet potatoes I remember the most– I think they brought about 5 dishes of sweet potatoes, all with fluffy white marshmallows on top, which I had never seen before. I’d also never encountered mince meat pie, or a number of the dishes they’d served up. I suppose in other families, there are traditional tamales to prepare, or a special soup or pudding, or even a traditional fish.
In some families, Thanksgiving requires the television to be on for the entire 8 hour feast celebration. Invariably, these 8 hours show some form of football, either pro or college, and let’s face it– it’s just a way for the males to get out of cooking even the smallest morsel of the enormous, 5,000 calorie feast they’re going to indulge in.
On Thanksgiving, you eat earlier, too. I don’t know why anyone bothers with appetizers on T-Day: dinner’s usually served around 3:30 or 4:00, I think because the turkey gets shoved into the oven by 9 AM and that’s when it finishes cooking.
Everyone has a Thanksgiving horror story (or five) to tell. Making the turkey is a rite of passage for young women, especially those recently married. The first Thanksgiving you cook is always a big deal. For those wondering, I have not yet cooked a turkey; last year, we had a spiral-cut ham for Thanksgiving, and it was delicious.
This holiday is HUGE in America. So much so, it even has a place in the labor movement. At the end of the Iran Hostage Crisis, a day of Thanksgiving was declared. My mother was thrilled: her teacher’s contract specifically stated that all “Days of Thanksgiving” would be paid holidays, and so she had a bonus day off thanks to well-thought wording on the part of the contract negotiators.
Any business you want to go to is probably closed today, except the grocery store, which is open until about 3, and I think the movie theatre might be open. My dog walker works today, too; they work every holiday, wonderful folks that they are. If you need to get something, you pick it up on Wednesday, or don’t plan to go out until Saturday morning unless you’re a Black Friday shopper (someone who mobs the malls on Friday after Thanksgiving, to do all their holiday shopping and get all the big sales).
One of the most poignant Thanksgivings was in 1993, a few months after I had moved out here. I visited my aunt and uncle in Berkeley and, in the afternoon, my cousin and I walked around downtown Berkeley. Telegraph Avenue is normally an all-day open sidewalk market, with vendors every couple of feet, selling their wares. On Thanksgiving, the stores were all closed, the booths were gone, and the only foot traffic came in the form of all the homeless people, sitting in doorways, looking lost and helpless and dazed. They know it’s Thanksgiving, but for them, the holiday isn’t a happy one with friends and loved ones. It’s a waiting game of boredom and unprofitable sitting until the shelters open.
I guess Thanksgiving is supposed to be about giving thanks, counting your blessings, etc. For me, though, it’s about unconsciously counting those blessings, touching them in the little ways, blessing my family with delicious food and showing them I love them through my companionship and my smile. It’s about surrounding myself with people I love, and avoiding people who bring me conflict. It’s about my redefinition of family, including those who bring joy into my life, whether we have a blood relationship or not.
And those are some of my thoughts on this holiday. I hope everyone on my Friends List has a wonderful holiday today, or at least a terrific day. I am thinking very positive thoughts towards all of you today, whether you celebrate with me, or not.