Mortaine’s Blog

I don’t watch the Oscars. This makes today one of the most un-entertaining days on television, because everyone’s showing either sports (Ohio vs. Michigan on basketball), or scenes from the red carpet. Yes, in America, we think that watching people get out of their cars is the best way to spend 5 hours on a Sunday afternoon.

So, I had two dreams that were pretty wild last night:

Dream 1:
I was out driving with my mom, and she was explaining to me how rats and rodents can swim really well, but that if they go below 3 feet, they’re sunk. There was a lake next to us, with a large white rat (by large, I mean about 5 feet tall), which was sinking into the water, like it was dead. We got into a boat and were skimming across the lake, when the rat suddenly grabbed hold of the back of the boat, I guess so it could come along for the ride. I pulled it off of the boat, after a struggle.

We arrived at twilight at a campground. There were two little lean-tos near the entrance, and a bridge over a sparkling silver brook. On the other side, I knew the woods were infested with were-rats, but that my companion (who was no longer my mother, but some kind of male adventurer type) had some kind of truce that they would leave us alone until morning. I went to my lean-to with a flashlight to stand guard.

I heard a noise outside my lean-to. I should not have turned on the flashlight. When I did, there were two large coyotes or small wolves there. I shone the flashlight in one of their eyes and stood up, trying to scare it off, but it stood its ground and let out a horrible snarl. I started yelling– the other canine ran off, leaving this one and me to fight it out.

At that point, I realized that, yes, I have a short-sword in my belt, thanks, because I am an adventurer. And even though I’m scared out of my mind, I’m not completely defenseless. I pulled out the sword to strike, but every time my initiative came up, I was too afraid to do so. Eventually, I did, but I didn’t feel I was very effective. Meanwhile, this animal was lunging and snarling at me; basically, I was using the sword to keep his big teeth from reaching me.

On about the third round of combat someone came up behind him (I assumed my traveling companion), to strike at his flank. In D&D terms, this is called a sneak attack when it’s done by a rogue, and he must have been a rogue, because he hit pretty well. Unfortunately, that got the wolf or coyote’s attention, and he turned, grabbing the rogue with his jaws and spraying blood everywhere as he pulled him around and started to shake him.

Still paralyzed with fear, it wasn’t until several rounds went by, and I saw that the figure in the wolf’s mouth may have been my companion, but he was also a giant were-rat (with white fur– not unlike the rat from the lake), and in very bad shape. I was even more scared, especially since it meant that I was alone in a forest of were-rats. One of them (were-rat or worlf, I’m not sure) screamed “Take a strike!” so I did, hitting the wolf in the neck and finally killing it.

I woke up shortly after that, but got the sense that I would now have to deal with the fact that my traveling companion was a were-rat, but seemed to be on my side (I was terrified he might try to turn me, too, though he was assuring me as I woke up that that was not the case).

Dream 2:
I was a non-bipedal robot called a Phoenix model. My lower base was essentially a chassis with wheels, though I had a double-shock system (for stability maybe?) I worked in a Sears store (though I’m not sure if I was just a floor model or if I did actual work there– probably both). Anyway, as a joke, I decided to “workout.” So I got on one of the more sophisticated treadmills and rode on it. For 18 hours straight. No one noticed. I thought this was sad– I was hoping someone would say something to me, so I could make a corny joke about training for a marathon or something. Next to me, there was a bipedal robot (played by my friend Lise, aka ), who was less “human” inside than I, but who had a more human-like physique.

I was told at one point that I had a telephone call, which I thought was exciting. I got off of the treadmill to answer the phone. I was going to make some joke about being “Robota” (like Roberta), but I flubbed it up and said “Phoenix” instead (actually, I said “this is Rob- Ro- Phoenix… the Phoenix model. How can I help you?). It turned out to be a little girl and her dad. The girl wanted to come see me, to meet a real robot. I explained that she was welcome to come by anytime, although I do shut down periodically for maintenance at night. I also told her that I was on the treadmills right now. She got the joke and asked how long I’d been there, which I told her.

The next day, she and her dad came to the store, but they brought a camera crew from PBS, and a lot of gawkers. This got me off of the treadmill, especially since it seemed to make everyone extremely uncomfortable, even though none of them had even noticed I was there before. One thing I found was that my training had actually loosened my chassis enough that I could now more easily roll over rough terrain and no longer needed a paved road to go about. This was a real breakthrough for me– previously, I was confined to the store. I was released from the store and went out into the street, where I was greeted with jeers and threats of violence almost immediately. I wasn’t frightened or anything– just grateful that I could keep rolling away from the people who were yelling at me.