Mortaine’s Blog

So, we’re sitting through the second movie of the evening.

Chris and Brian will not shut up.

Let’s see…

Chris can’t just watch a movie or TV show without talking all the way through it– talking about the movie, projecting every goddamn reaction she has “Oop– here he’s gonna get it!” and announcing what comes next when she’s seen the flick before. She assumes that you’ve read the comic book/novelization/critics/websites/whatever and talks about how it compares– like I FUCKING CARE!

And Brian– Brian cannot leave an argument unfinished. I seem to provoke him– I swear, tonight he said “Oh, this is where the movie goes downhill” (Office Space) and I just said “No, it doesn’t.”

And then he proceeded to point out exactly where he thought the movie would go downhill, all the while laughing and saying “Ok, this is a good scene, but the rest of the movie goes downhill from here.”

I just stopped responding after the first time– I didn’t feel like getting into it with him. I really don’t want to hear more argument-for-sake-of-argument from him. Even when I’m right he has to disagree with me. Even when I’m reporting facts, he has to be contrary. I’d say it’s night time, and he’d try to prove that it’s still light enough outside– actually, he did that tonight, in fact.

Oh, for crying out loud….

And Chris– I’m just about ready to start screaming, just cause, well, I like her and everything, but I can’t spend any more time with her. She’s too much…. it’s too hard to be around her for long periods of time– she’s just too ADD for me to have enough patience for, and she was here yesterday for Thanksgiving, and she’s here again tonight for potluck. Oh, and yesterday we watched episodes of The Tick, which she talked all the way through as well.

She also feels it necessary to comment on my pets’ behavior, health, and odors. Frequently. You know what? If you can invent something that makes a dog not pass smelly gas, then you go right ahead and make a million bucks. In the meantime, unless you’re just trying to blame your own emissions on the dog, let it alone. You’re not exactly contirbuting to the world by drawing attention to the fact he passed it. We KNOW he farts. We KNOW they smell. It’s just a part of nature– he’s just a dog. He’s never going to feel remorse for farting, and I am NEVER going to try to train him to do otherwise. I would, however, like to get through ONE NIGHT without someone calling attention to the odors issuing from his ass or his mouth. Yeah, his breath smells, but again, he’s a FUCKING DOG! Your mouth isn’t a bouquet of roses, but I don’t say anything about it. And you talking to him when he sticks his nose in your face “Oh, my yes, Hammer, such a delightful smell…” Uh, hello? You’re not convincing him to turn his nose; I have NO SYMPATHY that he’s continuing to stick it in your face.

Gah.

She just came through on her way back into the den (no wonder it was quiet in there for a minute), and mentioned she thought she might have been driving me crazy. And I couldn’t help it– I said Yes, that I like to watch movies in silence, without any chatter.

I think I hurt her feelings, but oh my god this has got to be one of the RUDEST things you can do when watching a movie with friends.

OK, off my chest now. Thanks.