This is a poem I wrote in 1990, when I was about 15 years old.
Touched, Befouled, and Forever Sinful and Smiling
Adam and Eve knew what they were doing
lured by the Tree of Knowledge
Impure, insane, incomplete without,
Sinful, rebellious, exiled on the first bite–
They knew the touch of success.
The burning, yearning sensation
relived through tortured dreams
night flying fancy.
the incompleteness, fury at my belief,
clinging to my hold on
unreality.
Take the feeling of empty wanting
the desire for that which is impossible
the utter fascination of the forbidden
Take that curiosity,
that destructive bit of my being
take it away
from me.
Take the hunger
of my terror of obtaining that which I seek
my eternal struggle for that which is above me too high
or buried deep in the foundations of man.
Take it all away.
and then take me.
–Stephanie Cottrell, 1990.