Mortaine’s Blog

I forwarded the link to the article about the 7-month pregnant woman being molested in the airport to Penn’s webmaster, who is going to forward it to Penn’s office.

Let’s hope Penn changes his mind on fighting for the little guys.

(p.s.: Does anyone like the new Travel icon?)

I slept wrong last night, so my neck is sore.

I am too pissed off to discuss the mess with my car today. It’s just a big-assed mess, is all. That’s enough.

I did create a new friends page style to match my recent entries layout. I also made a new friends page for my sister, to match hers, but I don’t know if she has it live yet.

After I went to bed last night, I had an incredibly bizarre dream about being in the new TV show Joe Millionaire. Something about trying to manipulate “Evan” into inviting the girl from next door to be part of the contest, knowing that if he let her into his little world, they would totally fall in love.

And then, while exploring the chateau, I ended up in a semi-Escher-esque staircase/escalator thing that went up when I was leaving one floor, but down as I entered the next.

Anyway, I was thinking about this during my morning drive: Don’t Joe Millionaire and those other reality/marriage TV shows make perfect setups for a romance novel? Think about it: A romance novel is basically two people who can’t stand each other overcoming their hurdles to fall in love, and it features a moment of pure emotional honesty as well as love conquering all their obstacles.

So, here’s the setup: It’s Joe Millionaire the TV show/contest. The women have been told that there are 20 women and one guy, and that he’s filthy stinking rich. The man has agreed to deceive them for the purposes of the contest. He’s not sure how he feels about that, but he doesn’t know these women and, well, it goes against his moral fiber but might be worth it. Besides, this is going to turn his life around completely– no matter what, at the end of this adventure, he will actually be a millionaire, and that’s perhaps worth it, because he’s pretty poor and “between jobs” right now.

The contest starts, and our lovely contestant goes through all the phases, kind of flying in under the radar the whole time. She’s the one who’s just a little too nice to be cut. She doesn’t complain. She’s not a bitch. She has a backbone, as evidenced in her interviews and when she confronts another contestant over something. But she’s nice. The kind of girl who you just don’t lie to, and would never need to, really. The money is a draw, she admits, but when it comes right down to it, it’s not as important as love.

They have an on-air fight. A bad one. In part, it’s because he’s uncomfortable about lying to her, but it’s also because she doesn’t trust him, even though she can’t put her finger on why. The fight is horrendous, ending in her tears, and the triumphant smile (and consoling treatments) of her main rival in the contest.

It looks like curtains for our heroine, and yet she is still invited to stay in the game. Time alone on the contest is hard to come by, but they manage to meet with only one camera staring them in the face, long enough to have a stroll and, though they don’t talk about the fight, they do sort of reconcile.

Meanwhile, the rival spreads a rumor, anything she can to discredit the heroine. She continues to tout herself as almost being “his” already. She implies on screen that she and the hero have already done the Deed.

Finally, before a live audience in the finale, the hero reveals the lie to both remaining contestants. His choice is turned around to their choice– will either of them accept him without his money?

Well, the rival of course will take him– he’s worth a million now anyway.

But our heroine? Not so much. Because she’s hurt and betrayed and angry and she tells him so in front of the live audience.

And of course, she is his choice, but she doesn’t want him after he’s lied to her. But of course, love conquers all– he proposes on one of the late-night shows they have to do as part of the “final three,” apologizing– again– for his dishonesty and treatment of her. And because she loves him, really loves him, she accepts him, telling him her true feelings.

Rival-girl can go scream at the cameras at that point. Nobody likes her anyway.

BTW: If anyone is still wondering, I am so totally rooting for Zora on the show. And Heidi. . . . . can go scream at the cameras. I can’t stand her.